Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 25 Dec 2017, 22:27

Sadly for the MO, his investigation into the doctor's antecedents would prove worthless. The doctor was fully qualified, with extra doctorates from Vienna where he'd studied under Freud. His morals left much to be desired, but his medical background was impeccable.

Meanwhile, there were thirty five hallucinating men to look after, Dora the WAAF having refused her coconut pyramid as she didn't like the glace cherry on the top.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 25 Dec 2017, 23:15

The MO concentrated on getting the antidote made, and supervised every step, making his own copious notes.
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 26 Dec 2017, 12:26

The jelly _ unflavoured and unsweetened - was given to the men who refused to swallow the nasty stuff. Finally they found an elderly lady to give it.

'Swallow this for Nanny,' she instructed. 'And I'll hear none of your silly complaints.'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 26 Dec 2017, 12:41

"Shan't," the referee declared, turning his head away.
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 26 Dec 2017, 15:37

'It's the naughty step for you if you don't,' warned the old lady. ' A big boy like you should be ashamed of himself being frightened to swallow this.'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 26 Dec 2017, 15:52

The referee capitulated under her steely gaze. The Air Commodore wondered if they could recruit an army of Nannies against Hitler.
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 26 Dec 2017, 16:10

An hour later, the men had the worst hangovers of their lives, but were otherwise as compos mentis as a bunch of young pilots usually were. Unexpectedly, they regained full memories of their hallucinations.

'Why were you crawling across the floor?' Tug asked Angus.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 26 Dec 2017, 16:29

"Why did you think you were wearing a pink tutu?" Angus demanded in response.
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 26 Dec 2017, 20:29

'Because an evil wizard had trapped me in a music box,` Tug responded hotly.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 26 Dec 2017, 21:40

The MO intervened and sent everyone for hot tea, but indicated to Doc Lorton that he would like a word with him.
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 26 Dec 2017, 22:13

' Not until my head clears,' the doc said firmly. 'After I've had tea, asprin and a nice nap. I'm signing myself up as unfit for duty.'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 26 Dec 2017, 22:24

"That's fine, but you're all staying here in the hospital until I'm finally satisfied that everybody is okay. But I would be glad of your help tomorrow."
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 27 Dec 2017, 02:37

The Doc nodded and staggered away. He'd played some hard rugby and he wasn't as young as he had been. Coupled with the after effects of the drug, he felt like death warmed over.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 27 Dec 2017, 11:22

Some of the men were inclined to resist an attempt to make the sleep but eventually they were all off. The MO made arrangements to gave them all strictly observed.
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 27 Dec 2017, 14:28

The men slept very well. The only strange thing about their rest was the way they all twitched their noses. Not all the time, but every half hour or so they would all wrinkle their noses a few times in unison and then grow still once more.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby elderlyfemalerelativ » 27 Dec 2017, 15:24

Perhaps it was oddly invasive smell of Vic linament that Nanny had wanted to rub on their chests. Or perhaps it was something altogether stranger?
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 27 Dec 2017, 15:48

Biggles was one of the first to wake up. He stretched his arms and yawned and looked in amazement at his surroundings.
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 30 Dec 2017, 01:20

'I thought being here was part of a rather funny dream,' he murmured, looking around him. 'Obviously not. Just what has been happening?'
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 30 Dec 2017, 01:22

"I'll get the MO," the orderly said, hurriedly.
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 30 Dec 2017, 01:34

The MO had a battery of tests he wanted to put them through, measuring all their physical reactions, stamina, mental acuity and so on. He'd been wanting to gather really detailed data on a group of young, fit men for a long time, and this was his chance.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 31 Dec 2017, 00:39

He hesitated over including Biggles, Doc Lorton and Toddy in his data. They were fit, but not quite as young as the other men.
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 01 Jan 2018, 14:04

He'd include them, he decided. Better to have the data and discard it than to wish later he'd collected it.

He started with the standard RAF fitness for entry tests. He could compare the results he got today with the results of their joining tests.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 01 Jan 2018, 15:14

He organised the grumbling men into groups. A medical orderly stood by each group a clipboard and stopwatch in their hands.
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 02 Jan 2018, 23:55

'Three, two, one, go,' he instructed. All their noses wriggled in unison.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 03 Jan 2018, 01:13

Touching their noses with a forefinger and keeping their eyes closed wasn't a problem either.
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 03 Jan 2018, 01:23

They all had excellent reaction times when their knees were tapped with a little hammer, but the MO thought it peculiar that they all pointed their toes and sang 'tada' whilst making jazz hands when he did so.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 03 Jan 2018, 02:51

He made careful note of that and moved onto the next test.
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 03 Jan 2018, 13:16

The men completed burpees and sit ups quite normally. They threw medicine balls with relish. They side stepped at speed down the corridor being used as a gym and back with intricate crossings of their feet in the air and hands shaped in proper dancerly fashion.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Fairblue » 03 Jan 2018, 14:08

The MO was completely satisfied. Doc Lorton however, was not.
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Re: Biggles' Squadron and the Annual Medical

Postby Kismet » 03 Jan 2018, 14:13

He did not like his nose wuffling at irregular intervals and he certainly didn't like seeing it on other men.
'Major Bigglesworth' said Von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'
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